


The Second Time That Tony Cried- An Iron Dad Fic

by sixofruness



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 06:20:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18115049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixofruness/pseuds/sixofruness
Summary: Tony attempts to cope with the loss of Peter on Titan.





	The Second Time That Tony Cried- An Iron Dad Fic

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is my first work and I'm new to fic writing so tell me what you think. Also thanks to @you-are-embarrassing for help editing and title picking. Enjoy!

He didn't feel like crying. Tony hadn't cried since he was 21 and he couldn't cry now, no matter how much he wanted to. That was the worst part, _Tony couldn't cry_.  

The ash was already dispersing, the last remnants of the kid who was such a big part of his life and Tony couldn't cry.

The robot girl stood behind him, she didn't want to interrupt his mourning, and so Tony stood, as to not make her feel awkward. Nebula, that was her name. Nebula hesitantly moved towards him placing a cold hand on his shoulder. He shook it off.

"I'm fine."

"Are you?" It wasn't supposed to be condescending but that's how it felt. "I'm fine" he repeated striding to the ship, his mind calculating away to fix the damage in a feeble effort to push away his other feelings and his memories of the last time he'd cried.

       

_Tony Stark was twenty-one when he got the call. Afterwards, he expected to feel broken, to feel as if there was a hole in his chest, or to feel as if one had been filled. Tony just felt different, he couldn't put his finger on how but he felt different. He'd turn on his phone to call his mom, and the difference was there. He's looking up while working to ask his dad a question about whatever he was working on and there it was again._

_No._

_Different wasn't the right word._

_Tony felt empty. He was an empty vessel, the outside was intact but the inside was waiting to be filled._

      

This time Tony didn't feel whole. Waiting to die on the ship, this time Tony did feel broken, and he did not feel empty, he felt full to the brim. Full of emotions, and memories, and nightmares of him, and dreams of her. Full of pain, and loss, and regret. Full of unshed tears he couldn't force himself to cry. Full of tiny slivers of hope, which in all this fullness was the part he hated the most.

All his life Tony had heard people talk about the horrors they saw when they closed their eyes. Rhodey and Steve saw scenes of war. Nat saw her childhood home. Bruce saw a flash of green skin and a lab in New York. Until now when Tony closed his eyes, despite the gruesome carnage and thousands of deaths he'd both witnessed and prevented all Tony had seen was darkness.

Now when he blinked, Tony saw a tangle of brown curls and chocolatey eyes and two whispered words.

_I'm sorry_  

____      

_"I'm sorry"_

_Of the words exchanged on that rooftop, these weren't the ones that felt like a kick in the gut._

_"I just wanted to be like you." Now that hurt. It hurt because these were the words Tony had mumbled to his own father 30 years before when his father yelled at him for messing up a new engine prototype. It hurt because of the utter sincerity the kid said them with staring up with desperation for Tony to understand. It hurt because Tony did understand, more than the kid would ever know. And as Tony watched the kid walk away, clad in clothing from the lost and found at Stark Tower he wondered if he'd been too harsh. He knew he was in the right but still, it kept him up that night, yelling at the kid who was only trying to help the only way he knew how. Yelling at the kid he'd been._

___    

"Pep" Tony's voice was hoarse. There she was, the first person Tony had truly registered since he'd stepped back onto earth. "Pepper" he repeated louder, his voice stronger this time. She turned around and Tony almost collapsed from relief. Then she was in his arms and her face was pressed against his chest he felt as if he was no longer alone, as if he didn't have to share this unbelievable weight around with him anymore. "Pep" he whispered one more time. " Pep, he's gone" She pulled away and looked up into his face. "The kid's gone."

"Oh..Tony" she sighed, her voice was full of love and pain and loss and understanding.

____

Two Months. That's how long it had been since he'd felt anywhere close to empty. Two months, since he's been on that wasteland of a planet, watching the ash float away into the wind. Two Months since he'd allowed himself to think that name. Two months and he hadn't cried.                 

It was time.

Tony stood alone in his lab, and slowly, slowly, closed his eyes. It was all there, all the guilt and responsibility, the feelings, the memories. All the stuff he'd been holding back.

That name.

_Peter._

That was it, that was all Tony needed to remember. Peter. Peters smile, Peter's laugh, Peter's nervousness, and genius, and love for his Aunt. Peter.

Tony's face was wet. He was sobbing as he stumbled over to a stool and he realized he felt different. Not empty, not full, not broken. Not whole, but closer to it than he'd been in years.

 

 


End file.
